"GET YOURSELF SOME GIRLFRIENDS"

I've been thinking so much these days about marriage, husband/wife relationships, how or what it has taken to keep our marriage together these past 38 years. I know for this for SURE...with all the demands that a marriage put on me, as a woman, wife, mother, grandmother, daughter, I would have not survived those years, with any sanity, had it not been for my "Girlfriends"!

Thanks to all of you who have ever brought in a meal, cleaned my toilet, bathed my children, diapered my children, babysat, listened to me whine, helped with baby showers, wedding showers, let me cry on your shoulder, bought me lunch, invited me to the movies, told me to "suck it up", cleaned my home, helped with funerals, prayed with me, etc.. The list could go on for pages. My "girlfriends" are precious treasure to me. A simple thank you will never be adequate enough...you know who you are...love you lots.

I want to share with you this story that I have kept in my files for years and years . One of my favorites to say the least. I've handed it out at bridal showers, baby showers, tucked it in notes to new brides, sent it off with girls headed for college, women's club meetings, church meetings, and even when I though someone just needed a little pick-me-up. Hope you enjoy.

"GET YOURSELF SOME GIRLFRIENDS"

Young and newly married, I relaxed under a pecan tree on a hot Texas summer day, drinking cool lemonade, and getting to know my new sister-in law, Estelle. Not much older than I, but already the mother of three, Estelle seemed to me wise and experienced. "Get yourself some girlfriends," she advised, clinking the ice cubes in her glass. "You are going to need girlfriends. Go places with them, do things with them."

What a funny piece of advice, I thought. Hadn't I just gotten married? Hadn't I just joined the couple-world? I was a married woman, for goodness sake, not a young girl who needed girlfriends. But, I listened to this new sister-in-law. I got myself some girlfriends.

As the years tumbled by, one after another, gradually I came to understand that Estelle knew what she was talking about. I remembered that she had said the word "girlfriends" with emphasis. As I went along, I discovered the subtle difference between friends and girlfriends. You go to work with friends, go to dinner with friends, go to church with friends, belong to clubs with friends. You send friends greeting cards. You need friends in your life; all girlfriends were once only friends. But a girlfriend is different.

I offer this praise of girlfriends. Here is what I know about girlfriends:

Girlfriends don't compete. Girlfriends bring casseroles and scrub your bathroom when you are sick. Girlfriends keep your children, and keep your secrets. Girlfriends give advice when you ask for it. Sometimes you take it, sometimes you don't Girlfriends don't always tell you that you're right, but they're always honest. Girlfriends still love you, even when they don't agree with your choices. Girlfriends might send you a birthday card, but they might not. It does not matter in the least. Girlfriends laugh with you and don't need canned jokes to start the laughter. Girlfriends don't talk about you behind your back. Girlfriends pull you out of jams. Girlfriends don't keep a calendar that lets them know who hosted the other last. Girlfriends will give a party for your son or daughter when they get married or have a baby in whichever order that comes! And girlfriends are there for you, in an instant and truly, when the hard times come.

Girlfriends listen when you lose a job or a husband. Girlfriends listen when your children break your heart. Girlfriends listen when your parents' minds and bodies fail. My girlfriends bless my life. Once we were young, with no idea of the incredible joys or the incredible sorrows that lay ahead. Nor did we know how much we would need each other. I want to tell younger women to take my sister-in-law's advise. Get yourself some girlfriends. You are going to need them.

All I can add to this is, "Amen and Amen." Jane, 38 years into it and a little wiser for it.